The Stevie G. Success Show Notes
Episode SGS-0014 – Rikki Rincon: Change Your Have To’s to Get To’s
Before we get to my interview with Rikki, I want to talk about the idea of happiness. Recently, a musical artist named Pharrell Williams recorded and released a song called “Happy” which has been featured in the movie Despicable Me 2. The song is being played everywhere and hundreds of video parodies have appeared on You Tube and other social media sites from people expressing their own interpretation of what it means to be happy.
In the song, Pharrell sings the words “clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth, clap along if you know what happiness is to you.” What that suggests is that happiness means different things to each of us. And it is true. There is no universal happiness standard and because there isn’t means that you get to define it for yourself, and then set out to bring it about.
In a study conducted by the University of Minnesota researchers concluded that Happiness is 50 percent genetic. If that is true, this means that half of what you feel or believe about happiness is already part of your character when you are born, and the other half is supposedly left up to chance? I don’t know that I agree with that conclusion. I have known may people who have been generally happy despite their circumstances, and others who have been generally miserable in spite of their circumstance.
Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. – Abraham Lincoln.
Some people think that money and being financially prosperous will make them happy. Others believe that it is the right house, fancy car, a new relationship, or career will make them happy. While these things are important and they can provide us with a sense of well being, it is short lived. The reason is because the thing that we are looking for to make us happy does not have the power to give us happiness. Aside from relationships, the things we are looking for are inanimate objects which do not have the power to do anything. In fact the significance of any one of these items is drawn from our own experience and the value that each of us place on that item. Some people like Ferrari’s and others would rather walk or ride a bicycle than own such a luxury sports car.
To close the door on the idea that material things or an influx of money will make us happy we need look no further than the majority of lottery winners who believed that winning would solve all of their problems and allow them to live happily ever after. Yet we know historically this is not the case. We can also look to story after story of highly paid entertainers, athletes, actors, businessmen and women who finally hit the brass ring and are earning millions of dollars a week, yet are some of the most miserable people on earth walking around lost, lonely and looking to drugs, alcohol and other substances to make them happy.
I think the issue is best resolved by finding out what makes you happy and then putting forth the action to create the circumstance of happiness.
So how do we become happy? How do we achieve a state of happiness if not through the things we want from life? From what I have been able to read and study over the last 20 years or so, I believe that happiness is something we create in spite of things, other people, or the conditions that we find ourselves in. It is a mindset and it being so, we can choose to be happy at any moment we desire. What that suggests is that whatever it is that you are doing right now, you can look at it in such a way as to derive a sense of happiness and well being, or you can also choose to look at it as dreadful and undesirable which will bring about feelings of anger, frustration, anxiety and fear.
Now I am not saying that you cannot be angry or upset when you are going through what you may consider a bad time in your life. If you lose your spouse, or a loved one, if your romantic relationship takes a wrong turn, if you lose your job, if you are facing foreclosure or bankruptcy, yes, it is perfectly normal to go through a period of fear, worry and anxiety. Just know that you do not have to stay in that frame of mind for very long, or you can stay in that frame of mind for as long as you desire. Stay in it for years if you are getting what you need and want from entertaining those feelings on a daily basis. But when you are ready to decide not to suffer anymore, you can make yourself happy and you get to decide what that looks like for you.
What this means is that happiness is not derived by what is happening to you, for you, or around you, but rather how you choose to define and receive what is happening to you, for you and around you.
It is also important to understand that what works for someone else, may not be what works for you and it does not have to. Some people take well to selling off all of their worldly possessions and moving to a remote part of the world where they can live off the land free of any technology. Others take well to rising up from their impoverished conditions and moving to the part of the world where they can go to school, get a job, or start a business.
One of the most frequent suggestions made by experts on the topic is to make a list of things for which you’re grateful in your life, practice random acts of kindness, forgive your enemies, notice life’s small pleasures, take care of your health, invest time and energy into friendships and family, be of service to others that are less fortunate. There is a lot of value in these recommendations and research shows that people who are grateful, optimistic and forgiving have better experiences with their lives, better health, satisfying relationships and generally earn more money.
The bottom line is that happiness does require effort on your part. We are constantly being presented with reasons to be unhappy such that it takes very little effort to be miserable. I wish the mainstream media and producers of music, books, films and television would find it profitable to create material that is uplifting, encouraging, and positive, and which fuels us with hope and optimism for the future. But the reason they do not is because we the people like to consume the negative stuff. We thrive on controversy and destruction and loss and we gladly spend billions of dollars every year to ensure that this negative stuff keeps being delivered to our minds. Why do we do this? Perhaps because it makes us feel better about our own lives and we can say I am so happy that I am better off than that guy.
I know for me, I make a conscious choice of what I read, listen to, and watch and I keep a close watch on the people that I hang around with to ensure that my time is spent only with those who bring value and enhance my life and for whom I can do the same.
Alright, let’s get to my show guest today with his own perspective on happiness, and how to practice gratitude by changing your have to’s to get to’s. I love the simplicity of that.
When I moved to Dallas and started getting the lay of the land and identifying the movers and shakers, I kept coming across the name of Rikki Rincon. People kept wanting to introduce me to him so I finally tracked him down. Raised on the south side of Dallas in what many consider to be one of the rough parts of town, Rikki is one of the more evolved human beings that I have met here. He gave up a promising career as a child actor after appearing in a movie with Michael Caine (I’m fairly sure that had he gone on to pursue a career in Hollywood, the characters on CHIPS might have been named John and Rikki). But he made a wise choice and instead went on to work on the production side of the music industry for many years, and is now a public relations professional and digital branding expert with his own company named Creative Juice Online. He is also a popular music DJ, and by all accounts he is one of the happiest and positive people that you will ever meet.
Connect with Rikki:
- Twitter: @rikkirincon
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/rikkirincon
- Facebook: www.facebook.com/creativejuiceonline
- Website: www.creativejuice.mobi
Thank you for listening!
I look forward to helping you live more, play more, and rock the world!
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